Navigating Grief at the Holidays: embracing healing and hope

The holiday season often arrives with a burst of joy, twinkling lights, and the comforting aroma of festive foods. However, for those of us grappling with grief, this time of year can become a poignant reminder of the void left by the absence of a loved one. As the world seems to be celebrating, those of us navigating grief can be caught in a complex web of emotions.

Following, I explore the complexities of grieving during the holidays and offer some guidance on finding moments of solace and meaning during this time.

Acknowledge the Pain

Grief doesn't take a holiday. If anything, it can intensify when surrounded by the merriment of festive decorations and cheerful tunes. It can be crucial to acknowledge the pain rather than avoid it. This is a natural part of the grieving process and can be therapeutic.

  • plan downtime to explore your feelings and feel them

  • give yourself permission to feel the depths of your emotions

  • consider sharing your feelings with a loved one, a grief specialist (like me), or a personal journal if it feels right

Be aware of triggers

Simple reminders, such as a cherished ornament or a favorite holiday dish, can unexpectedly evoke memories and intensify the pain of loss. The presence of a vacant chair, music (my personal trigger), or decorations can stir a mix of emotions ranging from sadness to nostalgia. Approach these moments with compassion for oneself and have a support system in place for those times when emotions become overwhelming.

Care for, and comfort, yourself

The pressure to participate in holiday festivities can be overwhelming. It's crucial to give yourself permission to say no to invitations or events that may feel emotionally taxing. Prioritize self-care and engage in things that bring you comfort. Some ways I like to do this are:

  • walking in nature

  • making homemade soup

  • journaling

  • acupunture

  • warm, epsom salt baths

  • one-on-one coffee get-togethers with close friends

  • donating to charity in honor of my parents

  • taking a micro-dose of psilocybin

Be Mindful of Traditions

Traditions can be a double-edged sword during the holidays. While they offer a sense of continuity and connection, they may also magnify the absence of a loved one. Consider embracing new traditions or adapting existing ones to honor and include the memory of those who are no longer physically present.

Consider:

  • creating a memorial ornament

  • lighting a candle next to a picture of your loved one

  • making a toast to the loved one

  • asking each person at the table to share a special memory

It’s also okay to take a break from a tradition if that’s what feels more doable. Traveling, asking someone else to host or plan, and changing up what is “usually done” can help.

Remember…

While grief may cast a shadow over the holiday season, it's essential to recognize that healing and hope can coexist with sorrow. Remember, you are not alone in your journey, and as you honor the memory of your loved one, you also create space for healing and hope to blossom. For additional support at the holidays, please contact me at (720) 425-3610 or at kristy@yourpersonalgriefguide.com.

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