A look inside grief…
Grief is a normal and natural response to loss. Within healthy limits, there are no right or wrong ways to grieve and no universal approach to working through it.
However, science tells us that even though we all grieve differently, our brains respond in similar ways. It’s quite an eye-opener for how we can, and why we should, walk through grief rather than around it.
Loss is pain that rewires the brain.
Grieving is not just intellectualizing one’s loss - it has actual physical attributes as well. Traumatic events such as the loss of a loved one can activate the central nervous system, particularly the limbic system, prefrontal cortex, and HPA axis. It is the perception, communication, thought, and response of these mechanisms individually and inter-connectedly that can influence how grief is sensed, interpreted, and channeled throughout the body.
Under normal perceived threats this process triggers a temporary fight-or-flight response that includes such reactions as the release of adrenaline and cortisol, an increase in blood circulation and pressure, and elevated anxiety - all for the sake of survival. Once the threat diminishes, the body settles into parasympathetic mode to rest, relax, and recover. This calms the body, encouraging emotional release, clear thinking, and rationalization.
However, when it comes to the trauma of losing a loved one, the process may not be so linear. Loss can be a unique perceived threat in which the limbic system can react intensely. Specifically, it can rewire neural pathways in the brain that create heightened sensitivity to emotional pain, a chronic state of fight-or-flight, and stuck emotions difficult to access and/or process.
Suffering stems from pain, especially when unprocessed.
Even for the healthiest of us, different neural pathways can form from grief in which emotional pain is hard to process.
And this can create suffering.
Pain may be inescapable, but how one suffers because of it is much more subjective. Learning to process one’s grief and relate to it in new ways can help lessen suffering.
Grief can be worked through to make life bigger.
How do you build back a world that feels broken and shattered? How do you make life larger when it feels so much smaller?
It is for the reasons above learned through study and research as well as observed experience that I believe some of the best grief processing can be done when the limbic system is calmed, emotions are recognized and felt, and new neural pathways are created. We can change our journey from going around grief (and being a victim of great suffering from it) to walking through it (for learning and growth).
I’m here to guide you through the depths of loss in order to build life back with a new sense of self and the world as you know it.
My Grief Guide Services
Each of us has a distinct self comprised of such elements as our past experiences, personal preferences, cultural identity, physical health, social relationships, and more which means there’s not one right way to process and work through grief. It is our own journey to take.
When processing dying and loss, it is important to find the coping modalities that are right for you and your family. Fortunately, there are a wide variety of natural ways to access stuck emotions, work through feelings, and gain new perspective and insight that I assist with, such as, but not limited to:
Open, non-judgmental discussions on death and dying
Re-telling and exploration of experiences
Understanding the whole self in relation to grief and re-creation of self-identity (i.e., going from spouse to widower)
Awareness of triggers
Dedicated time and space for your experiences and feelings to breathe
Natural coping resources
Journaling
Finding insight in, and from, nature
Spiritual exploration
Plant medicine
Integration coaching for modalities such as acupuncture and micro-dosing
The best ones for you may depend on what your needs are, what you respond well to, and how you feel while engaging in them. For example, are you in need of getting through the day or are you ready to shed survival mode and take a step forward?
I help you determine your intentions so you can learn to meet them in meaningful ways.
*Please note professional medical help may be needed outside of these services.
