3 Mindful Tips for Supporting Someone Who is Grieving

It can be hard to know what to do when someone is grieving.

What do you say? What do you do? How do you even start to help someone?

Grief may be a universal experience, but it’s also deeply personal and unique to each individual which can make it stressful when trying to figure out how best to help. This is why I am staring 3 things you can do to support someone grieving when you’re at a loss yourself.

• Attentively Ask and Actively Listen

  It may be easier to not ask the tough questions for fear of discomfort for both parties, however, sometimes acknowledging a loss can open dialogue for the bereaved to feel comfortable enough to share. Asking what their loved one was like, what they loved about them, what they miss the most, and in what ways they are coping can foster heartfelt conversation, kindness, and love.

  Additionally, rather than mentioning your experience or what worked for you, try actively listening to the bereaved individual. Clear your mind of what you want to say and focus on letting them take the lead.

  And it’s important to note that sometimes, silence is what is needed most and just being present for the bereaved, whether you talk or not, can be comforting.

• Help in Practical Ways

  Some of the most healing meals of my life were the ones brought to me by friends after the loss of my mother. It was as though I could consume their love through a dish that was thoughtfully prepared and to this day, I am incredibly grateful for those efforts.

  Supporting the bereaved through small, practical real-life gestures can make a big impact. Consider what the bereaved individual may need help with or would bring them comfort such as:

  • cooking a homemade meal for them

  • going for a walk around the neighborhood together

  • meeting up for coffee or tea

  • sending a package of epsom salt for warm baths and/or a journal to write in

  • going to see a movie together

  • stopping by to walk the dog, clean the litter box, take out the trash, and put a load of laundry in

  • ordering an extra meal as take out at a restaurant and delivering it on the way home

  Just remember to respect their boundaries regarding how they want support.

• Let Go of Expectations

  Grief has no timeline and looks different for everyone so be careful not to expect a bereaved individual to “get over” a loss in a certain timeframe or at all. Depending on the relationship of the loss, the way the death occurred, triggers, and any unprocessed feelings as well as physical and spiritual health, grief can vary in intensity on any given day and is likely, part of a lifelong journey. So meet the bereaved where they are at at that specific moment in time and give them your undivided attention and presence without judgment of what their grieving should look like.

  However, if you are concerned about their grief significantly impacting their daily life, encourage them to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor. Offer to assist them in finding resources and support them in taking the necessary steps to prioritize their health and well-being.

By offering our unwavering support and understanding, we can help lighten the burden of grief and journey alongside our loved ones as they navigate the path toward healing and acceptance.