What happened when I micro-dosed psilocybin for my grief

I’ve never smoked a cigarette or drugs, rarely take over-the-counter medicine, and only indulge in a glass or two of wine a week, so when it was suggested to try the newly-decriminalized (in Colorado) psychedelic psilocybin for recent grief triggers around the death anniversaries of my parents, I balked.

ME?

Ha!  No, thanks.

I have a plethora of other options, I thought. But against my assumed “better judgement,” something intrigued me.  Colorado had just voted on the legalization of this “magic mushroom,” there was much talk in the naturopathic field I was working in about it, and it was even the focus of a popular streaming drama series I was watching.

But what could it really do for my grief?  What would it feel like?  How would I take it?

Question after question arose for me, but all were answered patiently by my naturopathic doctor at Colorado Natural Medicine + Acupuncture in which afterward, my curiosity turned to courage; I decided I would try it.

Here’s what happened.

I took a micro-dose of 2mg in a capsule form and for the first few hours…felt nothing.  No hallucinations, no dizziness, not even the slightly tipsy feeling after a few sips of wine on an empty stomach.  I went about my afternoon as usual, wondering if it was do anything at all.

Until that evening.

Relaxing from the day (allowing my parasympathetic nervous system to kick in) about 4 hours into my micro-dose, I began to feel…well, my feelings.  They weren’t overwhelming or out of control, but they were noticeable. It was like clearing of a fog that allowed me to reach stuck thoughts and emotions that I had not been conscious of.  I had an urge to journal, letting my mind release on the pages in front of me as I gained exquisite clarity I didn’t know I needed. The subsequent cry was the one of the most therapeutic expressions I have ever experienced and afterwards, I felt an emotional and physical lightness from setting my grief free.

And it didn’t stop there.

The best way to describe the next few days was that it felt like a big hug.  Feelings of comfort, healing, and peace seemed to envelop me.  I spent those days reflecting in private as well as talking through my insights with my husband and a close friend. With this newfound enlightenment, I could connect with these grief triggers for personal growth and it was profound.

Maybe it was the stimulation of serotonin in my prefrontal cortex, maybe it was a release of stuck qi (energy) within me, maybe it was a blend of the two or something else entirely, but my micro-dose of psilocybin allowed me to access my stuck grief in order to relate to it in new ways.

While my story is not a guarantee for everyone’s experience and a professional medical should be consulted prior to usage, it can serve as hope for working through grief.  There are a variety of mind/body therapies that may support one’s grief journey in which psilocybin may be an option for some.

To hear more about psilocybin, other mind/body grief therapies, and the processing grief, join me for my virtual 30-minute free Grief Guidance 101 session on March 6, 2024.  Click here to register.